23｜Why Can’t I Make Friends Online? Simple Solutions That Work

It’s hard to become friends with people who only reply with a word or two words.

There are quite a lot of people whose first message is just “Hi,” who ignore questions when asked, and who only reply with “Yes,” and that’s not very good communication.

Messages that are too long are no good, but neither are they too short.

If you want to become friends with someone, you’ll have a higher chance if you show a bit more interest in them and engage in conversation. 

Asking questions is the best way to engage with others.

Most people enjoy talking about themselves.

So, if you ask a lot of questions, you will communicate better and increase your chances of making friends.

By asking questions, you make the other person feel comfortable and reduce the distance between you, fostering a sense of closeness.

When people talk about themselves, they are more likely to trust you. On the other hand, it is hard to become friends with someone who doesn’t ask questions. 

If you want to become friends with someone, it’s important to ask questions and show genuine interest in them.

However, be mindful not to overwhelm the other person with too many questions, as it can create pressure.

Asking a moderate number of questions and maintaining a natural rhythm in the conversation will enhance communication and increase the likelihood of forming friendships.

Balance is key.

Not asking questions is a no.

Overwhelming the other person with too many questions is also a no.

If you’re not naturally very interested in others, try developing the habit of looking for things that interest you about them and ask questions about those topics.

This will lead to better communication. 

Humans hate being rejected.

If you reject someone, they will mark you as an enemy, and you will never be able to become friends.

Even if you have different opinions, accept the other person and think that there are other ways of thinking.

This mindset is especially important if you want to meet people from different cultures.

If you can get the other person to think of you as an ally and not an enemy, they will open up to you about all kinds of things, and you will be able to become friends.

People who can do this will be able to get along with people regardless of their age, and they will be able to get along with people who are more than 20 years older than you, so I think you will be able to broaden the range of people they can associate with.

All of my friends who can do this have friends of various generations regardless of age, and some have partners who are more than 20 years older than them. 

Smiling is very important.

Smiling makes both you and the other person relax, so it’s necessary for good communication.

Isn’t it more fun to talk to someone who is smiling?

You don’t have to force yourself to laugh, but if you make an effort to laugh often when you’re having fun, you’ll naturally laugh more, and laughing will make you happier.

The brain can’t tell the difference between fake laughter and real laughter, so just laughing makes you happy, and people naturally gravitate towards happy people.

It’s a simple thing, but surprisingly many people don’t do it. 

It’s a very simple technique, but it seems like a lot of people don’t do it.

It’s nice to hear your name called, as it’s something you’ve probably heard most since childhood.

Calling someone’s name every time might make them think you’re weird, so it can be effective just to say their name at casual times like “Good morning, [Name]” or “What did you do today, [Name]?”

Try to be more conscious of calling people’s names. 

This is something that many people may struggle with.

I’m the type of person who likes to talk a lot and communicate frequently, so I find it a bit difficult, but it’s easier to become friends with someone if you match their reply frequency.

It’s not good if someone is very slow to reply (every few days to once a week, for example), as it can come across as having no intention of becoming friends, but try to match your reply frequency as much as possible.

Matching your reply frequency will make the other person relax, and if you reply to their messages at the same frequency as them, there’s a higher chance they’ll feel that you get along well with them.